Tuesday, October 05, 2004

i've been trying to stave off my usual increasing autumn depression with regular exercise and st. john's wort. it was working pretty well until a day or so ago when i started feeling faintly nauseated and twitchier than usual. today it worsened into vertigo, sweating, serious nausea (i thought i was going to puke on the 5-minute drive from school to home) and the shakes, not to mention major anxiety and mild hallucinations (mild, but enough for me to wonder if i was finally losing it for real). i felt so bad that i cancelled out of working with my doctor today. she was very nice about it, but i feel like an ass since it's only the second time. plus it's a huge disappointment not to go, since that's really what i'm here for. the practice is an hour away and i was sure i wouldn't survive the drive, let alone take care of patients effectively once i arrived, but still, it doesn't feel good.

because i'm me and i do shit like this, i plugged my symptoms into ye olde internet. and lo, they match the classic description of serotonin syndrome--when you have too much serotonin hanging around instead of too little--almost perfectly. apparently this can happen with SJW, especially if you drink coffee, which i do. so i guess i can't use it anymore. i'm fucked. i can't keep using it if it's going to screw me up like this, but i need something else. ideas? a light box was my first thought--do you know anything about them?

i am frustrated...


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