Friday, February 11, 2005

i went for a long run the other day after i'd finished that last entry and spent most of it thinking about what to do. in the end, i concluded the following:
1) i have a very very very good thing going on with h and i don't want to damage that.
2) i'm at the beginning of a very enjoyable friendship with c (for crush) and don't want to jeopardize that either by involving sex.
3) the wretched physical/emotional element of the crush is partly the result of me transferring general stresses (esp. school) onto another issue.
4) i also like to know where i stand with people, and it makes me terribly uncomfortable not to know. in the case of c, this is resolving. there's an increasing comfort with each other--we make fun of each other freely now, for example.
the rub, as aggie the cardiology prof would put it, is that the level of physical and psychological attraction remains very high. i will just have to suck it up, though.

i did a breast exam yesterday.
will write more in that vein later...


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