Tuesday, March 01, 2005

i have the fidgets in the worst way.
it's what i get for making spoon-eating coffee.

and it's also more than that, i think. (when isn't it?)
this is the sort of restlessness that can preceed a nosedive in mood. and i can't afford that now; really, i can't afford it ever again.

i have so much that i should be doing, and i have done so little of it.

i want people. the isolation of studying feels so bleak right now, and yet that's really what i need to do. i want to be outside myself, away from myself. i want people.

i am anxious about something i can't quite pin down, but i can clearly tell that i'm anxious. it could be the impending changes over the summer, or the preparation i have to do between then and now. it could be the fact that i'm behind with school. it could be any of a vast number of things--i don't exactly live the most stress-free life, and i'm far more high-strung than i'd care to admit.

so what do i plan to do about it?
first, go running. i can count on that to kill the jitters and smooth out my hyperkinetic state.
second, eat. (or maybe reverse that order.) again, physiologically will help to slow me down.
third, take myself back to school and sit down in a quiet place with no internet access. force myself to start working, and keep at it for a few hours at least. try to finish a couple of things so that i can take them off of my guilt list.
and then what?

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